Seasonal Humor Fan Pillows

'The Groundhog tests have come back. I'm afraid you only have six weeks to live.'

'I'm looking forward to Spring: I'm sick and tired of hay, I want fresh grass!'

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

How to Tell Spring is Here.

"Well look who decided to show up."

First Snow of the Season. . . 57th Snow of the Season

"Little help?"

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

The Itchy Back

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

Gesundheit! - a christmas tree should be fresh.

'You don't need to feed the meeter. It's Christmas Eve.'

Try me/try me/try me...

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'He's got your nose.'

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I love this time of year."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."