Searching For Companionship Gifts

Woman seeks male companion...

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Cling-On Dog

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Any chance of upping the affection quota, given the current situation?"

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

Single men in Tahiti

"What I like most about you, Roberts, old boy, is that you don't talk back."

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Take You Home

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

Best Pals

"Now I'm well, I miss my doctor."

Old man

Emotional Support Dog

Assisted Living.

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

'Thanks for keeping me company Liz: Sitting on my eggs all day long can be a bit lonely...'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'How will I know when I've found my soul mate, Fang?'

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

'Hey, I could help you with your homework, don't eat much, plus you never have to walk me. What do you say?'