Sealife Jokester Pillows

'Stop that Betty. We're here to fish, not to mess around.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Turtle Hat

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

A crab with a utility knife claw

Dolphin

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Octopus with hand puppets performing play underwater.

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'A tortoise is coming toward us' 'I newt' 'I toad you' 'Great, I'm on Walden Pun.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"We both knew this day would come, Samantha... I'm leaving you and taking the kids."

"We constantly argue, go days without talking, and the sex is virtually non-existent."

Oil Spill.

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

Interrupted Shower.

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

'Frankly, I think we should stop trying to communicate with Humans: They're simply not smart enough to understand us'

'Try not to be an idiot.'

"And after you've been with us for awhile you're entitled to a week at the company's resort cubicle."

Junk Mail Shredder.

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

'Sorry, ocean sounds can't be heard due to a computer glitch.'

'I've just caught your son looking up prawn on the internet again'

'Go ahead -- pull Oog's finger!'

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'