Seafood Explorer Gifts

'Coconut? -- You seriously expect me to bite on coconut?'

"On second thoughts, we'll give the fresh squid a miss."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

Your lobster was off!

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

'I wish I was creative'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"How's the salmon?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'