Seafood Sleuth Gifts

'Out test show that your haddock is really flounder, your flounder is cod, your cod is tilapia, and your tilapia is chicken.'

"You can stop the pain, Marcel. Just show us how to crust a sea bass."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

"I see the fish are biting today..."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Your lobster was off!

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

Prawn Cocktail Please

"How's the salmon?"

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

Dali Chooses a Lobster

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"