Foodie Sleuth Gifts

"My skinny husband is a man of mystery. Where he puts all that food no one knows."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

GM Crops Genie.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Horse meat scandal.

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"