Seafood Seekers Gifts

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Your lobster was off!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"How's the salmon?"

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Civilized Salmon

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'Catching flying fish...'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."