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"This turns our understanding of mermaids completely upside down."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Mermaid and old sailor

Mermen

"Al, are you certain that this guy has the authority to marry us?"

Pirate King!

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

'We're never going to lure them onto the rocks with you looking like that.'

"After the life he's had, he just said 'What the hell'..."

Sea Angel

Nelson had no real sense of direction.

"Do you mind?!"

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

'Half mushroom and half plankton!'

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

"I don't half fancy you. . .!"

'Aaah, tis good. . . I see you already have yer sea legs.'

"It's really the black whale I hate, but I didn't want to appear racist."

Flying Dutchman

"I told you to be careful!"

"Call me Ishmael, - or Fish Meal, if I fall overboard."

'I don't find you completely unattractive. There are parts of you that I really like.'

Fish Traps/Lure.

And that's where mermaids came from.

Mermaids cross

The Mermaid and the Cat

'Gee, I didn't really have to attack that surfer in the red and blue shorts last Thursday...I wasn't that hungry.'

Siren and Pirates

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

Industry and Idleness - The idle apprentice turned away and sent to sea.

A Pirate prisoner Fly about to walk off the plank into a bowl of Soup