Sea Life Observers T-Shirts

'Every time he tells this story the Fisherman gets smaller.'

One legged Skipper getting his own back on a shark in a tank

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"They're so like us."

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Heads or tails?"

How Swordfish Are Born

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Life and Death

'Your secondhand smoke is giving the hermit crab a hacking cough!'

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

Watching Sea Life.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

Stop Human Footing

Professional to fish about mounted fish: 'This is what happens if you let yourself get hooked on worms.'

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

Making fun of Starfish.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Sea Change.