Scuba Humorist Gifts

"Oh come on Jeff, just concede the point."

Bird riding on hippopotamus resting in water wears scuba diving mask.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Guide fish.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Shark food pyramid.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Walking the Plank.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Shark Chum

"You can find me on Inkedin."

'We're drifting apart.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'