Scuba Diving Gifts

'Now remember, you have enough water for half an hour, then you'll have to come down.'

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

Scuba Diver using laptop under water.

Scuba diver using beer rather than air.

'Is the water cold?'

'We'll have lunch here and then we'll keep looking for whales.'

Diver taking picture of fish, fish taking picture of diver.

'For some strange reason, Smythe, I don't believe you're leaving work because you're not feeling well. Next time don't wear the diving gear, it's a dead giveaway.'

"Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident."

Shark picking lock to diver's cage.

'I'm out of air, the shark has my leg,I have the bends, you can be such a whiner!'

'Don't call a plumber just yet. It's been a long winter and I'd like to get a little diving in.'

'You might want to make yourself comfortable. I may down there for awhile.'

'Here we are, back safe and sound...'

'Apparently, you fail to appreciate the seriousness of your situation.'

'Would you look at that: Rubbish everywhere!...'

'Why can't you just get in the water like everyone else?!'

'I distinctly remember telling you to wear 'sensible flippers'!'

'The doctor said he needed more activity. So, I hide his scuba equipment twice a week.'

Acme Discount Life Vests

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

'Nelson here is in charge of out offshore accounts.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'OK, see you in a few days.'

Discovery.

Diver holding up sign saying, 'The plumber's here'.

'Keep watching... It will start giving birth any moment now.'

Fish snorkling above water.

Gunfight at the O.K. Coral

The Pearl Fishers - in modern dress

"Clear!"

"Honsetly Fred, we just got here and you want to go home."

"Hey Bob, look, a ship-wreck: let's check it out, it's like a magnet for scuba-divers..."

If you can read this sign - you went too deep.

'Slight plumbing problem?'