Scruple Explorer T-Shirts

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

'This is terrible. If the plankton go out on strike, it'll disrupt the entire food chain.'

"You want proof? There's your proof."

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

Chemistry Improv Theater

"I see you've come prepared for an in-depth interview."

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

'Have you been under much pressure lately, Mr. Verne?'

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"First, we install proper insulation. Then we call the Museum of Natural History."

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

Unnatural History Museum

'Remember Jones! It's not exaggeration if you believe it!'

'Do you realise what a find this is?'

Institute of the Paranormal: Research Division and Crackpot Division.

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

Now, will someone pass me a whale?

Distilled Elephant

'I know I told you this wouldn't hurt, but, if it does, raise your trunk or something.'

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."