Grave Explorer T-Shirts

"When you said you wanted to track down your ancestors I thought you meant on the internet!"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

The discovery of electricity...

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

'It's an antique!'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

You have the worst spring breath.

"Professor, this changes everything."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"Oooh... bacon!"

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

Ventriloquist Grave

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Pranking Zombies

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

The car showroom

Lecture today. This last one is always found just outside cave entrances. Lecture today. Hominid fossil finds. We're calling him "gnomo-sapiens."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"It's really a long cave...prepare to binge watch."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Caveman bathroom

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan