Scrum Master Gifts

"...and this is our Agile project!"

"I see your problem, honey. You're doing everything 'waterfall'. You should switch to 'agile'."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Out and In.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

A new schoolmaster testing students on geography

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

Accounting: Desk trays - 'Accounts receivable' and 'Accounts deceivable'.

Gardening Tips - training fruit trees can greatly increase their yield

Jeepers Creepers Billy, Can you wait until halloween to wear that? You're scaring me half to death.

Schoolmaster drenched by prank bucket on door.

"Inland Revenue office. 'Excuse my maths won't you?'"

Mega Corp. Employee Entrance. I like to get to work early, before my brain knows what I'm up to.

Team Work

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

At the schoolmaster's porch

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

'IT'S A SNOW-GHOST!'

Supermarket customer types.

The Yorkshire schoolmaster at the Saracen's Head

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

"It's a shame, he has masses of experience...."

Trick-or-Treat At Own Risk

'Mr. Pilbeam will be your new elite geography teacher this term.'

Steerforth and Mr. Mell

'The 10th and the 11th are definitely out.. How about the 12th of never?'

'These are excellent qualifications ... so good that our largest competitor would pay you twice as much.'

'I'm a self-made man!'

Very Like It.