Crutch Master Gifts

Schoolboy with broken leg.

"Tommy!"

Guitar Man.

"Mulch madness"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

Important Muscles.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

Ah, geez, there goes my groin muscle again.

Django.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

"Careful, underneath that layer of snow there's a layer of confusion."

'Laughter is the best medicine, so read this joke book three times a day after meals.'

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

"Top quality line, expert knot, expensive lure: Now, that's how you recognise a Sport Fisherman..."

"Hey dude, when I said 'curls might help', that's not what I meant."

Anabolic Steroids

"Well, I've noticed someone always finds time for the 'odd jobs' around here he wants to do!"

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'

'Unfortunately, he's very productive in paintings, not money.'

"I hope I can still move like that when I'm her age."

"Do you want my opinion as an art critic or as your best friend?"

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

Working Out

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'