Chop Master Gifts

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Counting ribs

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"Tommy!"

'Steak Ted?'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Desert Island BBQ

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

His New Grillfriend

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Filet minion

Ode to a Grill

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You like yours well done, right?"

Burnt or Raw?

Guitar Man.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'Men's cooking'