Scruffy Supporter Pillows

"How would you like to wake up with that every morning?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

The Cactus Reader

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

Jeb Can Ficks It

Cactus Huggers

EU money addiction

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have taken a degree in art appreciation."

'Flea and tick circus'

"Look, why don’t you just come down and talk to him? He wants to make up."

Center for anti-discrimination.

"It's a trap, Gary! Run!"

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

'I get no respect... anywhere.'

'You're arrogant, pig-headed and have no communication skills -have you thought of a career in intelligence?'

"Come on. If you sell beer, you must sell peanuts."

Jimmy likes to stand on his head.

"Another double-header."

"It's not your fault ... squirrels have heart attacks all the time. Pretty sure."

Surfing the Coif

How is your terror today

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

"I think we both know it's time for the groomer."