Scruffy Pooch Appreciator Pillows

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

Puppy.

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

"Kate! Long time, no sniff!"

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

Bored at the City Morgue.

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

"Take it easy back there!"

"I've pretended to be interested in that breed many times."

Simple Dog Humour

'She's a bit pricey,dear-can't we look at the runners up?'

"Her fur generates so much static electricity, we named her Sparky."

"Bad dog."

"Rex, stop your barking, we're getting dirty looks from the neighbours! Yep, you've woken up the baby!"

Country mansion full of dogs.

No, I didn't teach him to roll over --- He's just clumsy.

You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?

"Barking can be very affirmational."

'How to lick doggie breath.'

"How would you like to wake up with that every morning?"

"He's a Yankeedoodle."

'I turn them loose in my cave. They're colorful, fun to watch and they eat bugs.'

'You twit, French poodles are supposed to look pompous!'