Scruffy Pooch Appreciator T-Shirts

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

Puppy.

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

"Miss Penny to inquire about the tardiness of evening kibble."

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Kate! Long time, no sniff!"

Bored at the City Morgue.

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

"Take it easy back there!"

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

"I've pretended to be interested in that breed many times."

Simple Dog Humour

"Bad dog."

"Rex, stop your barking, we're getting dirty looks from the neighbours! Yep, you've woken up the baby!"

"Her fur generates so much static electricity, we named her Sparky."

'She's a bit pricey,dear-can't we look at the runners up?'

Country mansion full of dogs.

'I turn them loose in my cave. They're colorful, fun to watch and they eat bugs.'

"How would you like to wake up with that every morning?"

"He's a Yankeedoodle."

"Barking can be very affirmational."

'How to lick doggie breath.'

'You twit, French poodles are supposed to look pompous!'

"She's very fussy about her food!"