Script Supporter Gifts

Writer's Strike

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

A pretention of playwrights

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Hollywood producer.

Actor practising his indian war crys

Hollywood producer.

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Great money scenes!"

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

Scrip Doctor

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Dear Diary

Woody Allen

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Write a Screenplay

Audition. Script. He plays every role with that scowl --- His motto is "Anything you can do, I can do bitter."

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''