Script Savant Pillows

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Ecclesiastical Eye Test

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Where was I?

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Hollywood producer.

Eugene Ionesco

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"Now all we need is a good script."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Dear Diary

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

Scrip Doctor

"It had an interesting emotional arc and some nice plot twists, but the heroine and subsidiary characters were unconvincing within the historical context."

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

The Adventures of Grammar Man

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

Subtitles for the Stupid

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"