Script Savant Gifts

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Ecclesiastical Eye Test

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Where was I?

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Hollywood producer.

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

Eugene Ionesco

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Now all we need is a good script."

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Scrip Doctor

"It had an interesting emotional arc and some nice plot twists, but the heroine and subsidiary characters were unconvincing within the historical context."

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

Dear Diary

Woody Allen

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

The Adventures of Grammar Man

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

Subtitles for the Stupid

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.