Scrimmage Strategist Gifts

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"You're going to hate yourself."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

CEO Escape

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Saving for Retirement.

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

International Speculators

Banana striptease...

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

DING DONG!

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

"Yeah, it's a Christmas tree alright! So, we know exactly where the antelopes will be early morning on Christmas day..."

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'Let's rush him.'

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'

Service Entry.

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

'You should see the bird feeder I built. It's 100% squirrel proof.'