Scrimmage Strategist T-Shirts

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"You're going to hate yourself."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

CEO Escape

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Saving for Retirement.

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

International Speculators

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

Banana striptease...

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

DING DONG!

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

'You can't pour the boiling oil over them yet - I'm still cooking the chips !'

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"Yeah, it's a Christmas tree alright! So, we know exactly where the antelopes will be early morning on Christmas day..."

'Let's rush him.'

Service Entry.

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'