Strategy Sleuth T-Shirts

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Shred any negative documentation I made on our new sales strategy.'

'I'll give step by step directions.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"My company uses a copycat strategy."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

How leaders fail

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

Clickbait

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

Orderly Conduct of Sales

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'We're looking for bold, innovative strategies to pretty much maintain the status quo.'

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"