Screenplay Analyst Gifts

Johnny Depp

"They grow up so fast."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"Bloody hell!"

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Quentin Tarantino

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"Now all we need is a good script."

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Puss in Heels

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Dear Diary

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

'Oh man, every time.'

"Less talking, more abducting."

Irvine Welsh

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

Fredrich March as Dr. Jekyll

"I just don't think a giant flaming blob of alien ectoplasm would say that."

"I'm just a giant, rampaging gorilla, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love me."

"You caught it, you probe it."

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

Aliens bring their pet humans to the veterinary

Studio 51

The Sting Operation

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'

Andy Hamilton

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'