Screenings T-Shirts

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Benedict Cumberbatch

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

No-Work Orange

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Horror movies

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Stand-up Romcom

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I AM at my usual position."

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"Housekeeping?!"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Werewolves of London..."

What's an Imax cave?

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'