Screenings Prints

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Benedict Cumberbatch

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

No-Work Orange

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Horror movies

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Comedy Cafe

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I AM at my usual position."

Stand-up Romcom

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Housekeeping?!"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'