Screening Savvy T-Shirts

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'There's nothing on.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Men's Health Screenings.

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"This is Sally Whitgart on TV -- We now switch you to Bart Fribledale on the Internet...."

"Shakespeare wants to kill off the leads and destroy any franchise potential. I tell you these artist types can never see the big picture."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'We in the intelligence community have got to start ta.........I've already said too much.'

"I agree, a national conversation on privacy is wait! Yum...I've gotta share these pix!"

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

"This is going a lot smoother than we anticipated."

'This is the only secure line in the building.'

Password must contain at least one hieroglyph.

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

"I know this movie just came out today. But it's been on the Internet for over a month."

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"

"There must be an app for this..."

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

Screen Addiction

Woman on TV says: 'Remember, you can download the best bits of this show as a video podcast, if you really have no life.'