Screen Time Satirist Pillows

'And this button lets you catch up with everything you've missed by turning the bugger off.'

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

"I know it's just a slab of stone, but I can't take my eyes off it."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Planet of the Apps

"How do you expect to be a real boy if you don't have a phone?"

"He needs his five-a-day."

Flowers Ignore the Sun in Favor of Screen Time

Fishbowl World

"Netflix not loading is not a humanitarian crisis."

Face-to-face video call

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

"Now I've got a bigger screen I find porn on the web much more degrading."

Television gets more life-like every day!

'Oh wow I'm getting RSI of the eyes'

"Pop quiz: On vacation, if Josh and Sophie looked up from their phones four times, how many times did their mom wish they stayed home?"

Sunset Romance

"Say something, I've forgotten what you sound like."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

'Are you okay, Bill?'

Movie Franchise

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.