Screen Time Satirist T-Shirts

"I know it's just a slab of stone, but I can't take my eyes off it."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Planet of the Apps

"How do you expect to be a real boy if you don't have a phone?"

"He needs his five-a-day."

Flowers Ignore the Sun in Favor of Screen Time

Fishbowl World

Face-to-face video call

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

"Now I've got a bigger screen I find porn on the web much more degrading."

Television gets more life-like every day!

'Oh wow I'm getting RSI of the eyes'

"Pop quiz: On vacation, if Josh and Sophie looked up from their phones four times, how many times did their mom wish they stayed home?"

Sunset Romance

"Say something, I've forgotten what you sound like."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Movie Franchise

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

"What do the know!"

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

Tedium

"So was the old lady who lived in a shoe taken to court for whipping her kids."

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."