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RANDALL JONES (July 10, 1964 - May 17, 2019) - "Mostly Dicked Around On His Phone"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Convenience.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Knights of the Round Whatever

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

Movie Franchise

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

"But how many followers do you have?"

Art Vandalism

John Banville

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''