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RANDALL JONES (July 10, 1964 - May 17, 2019) - "Mostly Dicked Around On His Phone"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Convenience.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Modern Damocles -

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis in 'Wise men 3'.

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

Knights of the Round Whatever

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

ENNUI...(smiley face).

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

'Are you okay, Bill?'

Art Vandalism

John Banville

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

Movie Franchise

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

"But how many followers do you have?"

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."