Screen Addiction Satirist Pillows

"Am I the only one who can see that sign?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

Spooning

"So, how's your scary movie?"

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Movie Franchise

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

'Are you okay, Bill?'

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

Sunset Romance

"Thank you for waking me up from the witch's curse! Can you hand me my phone?"

"I was admitted to heaven, but they didn't have WIFI."

First Place Layabout

"Do I need to remind you that I have a huge Internet following?"

'I'll even throw in 30 days free towing.'

Apple TV+

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

"I wasn't texting while having sex. It's the other way around."

I never thought I'd be competing with cat videos!

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

'Don't even bother, pal. Looks like they're all taken.'

My mother, the PC.

"He needs his five-a-day."