Screen Time Philosophers Mugs

"Your mother and I are concerned about how much time you spend online."

The Goldfish Bowl

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

Evolution Homo Sapiens museum intelligence.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Mac OS 20

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Digital Fomo!

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

Cellphone Islands

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Tunnel of TV

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Technologies and distance classes

"You are still here."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Child hooking into a television