Screen Sloth Gifts

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

Homo Zapiens

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"Siblings? yes, I'm one of seven."

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"You know what I wish? I wish there was a foundation that gave grants just to lie fallow for a year or so."

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

SlothPossum Watching Upside Down TV

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

"I don't think they had you in mind when they invented the mobile device."

"We suck at this."

"After the shark documentary there's a documentary on about two fat slobs who watch TV all day. Sounds good"

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

"Sloth!"

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

'Speaking of ground sloths.'

Back down.

Potato sitting on a couch.

"I never wanted this to be a long-distance relationship."

"You obviously didn't know Yorrick that well, that's the skull of an Amazonian tree sloth!"

"Some feedback as your last review, low productivity..."

'You can take the bed, I'll be fine in the cupboard for the night...'

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

"So now you're reading a book?"

"I think this department may have something to do with your company's productivity problems."

Sloth Machine

"Sorry for the delayed response. It's been a crazy week."