Screen Slacker Gifts

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

The Sedentary Dead.

Intermediate Slouching.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"I think your computer is suffering from separation anxiety, because it's following you."

'Some guys wait awhile before showing their true colors. I appreciate you not wasting any time.'

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Out to Hunch.'

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'How's your garden?' - 'It's getting too much for me so I'm paving it.'

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

Man chained to a computer reaches for a book.

While you were in

"Have you seen Joey?"

'It's one of those days when point and click feels more like drag and drop.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

"Honestly, Baldo, sometimes you're languid to the point of lethargy. Wouldn't you say you're torpid."

STRIP Hambone: Suicidal over a computer error

"I'd like to welcome you all to the procrastinators club. I move we defer the reading of the minutes of the last meeting until our next meeting...which has been postponed!"

"Joey...I need you spending more time helping customers."