Scrap Dealer Gifts

Old truck for sale

'Can you prove that was under your granny's sideboard?'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

General Motors.

Man with desk organizers labelled 'Wheeling' and 'Dealing'.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Magnet at scrapyard

"I've got pride but no shame."

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Car Dealer

Jorgen's quality used Fjords.

"Car Boot Sale" at motor salvage depot.

One owner, not counting the times it was stolen.

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

Garage Sales Anonymous

'This baby says you've arrived. A little late perhaps. Missed a turn, had to stop for directions, but eventually got there.'

Vintage Shop: Used puppets for sale - no strings attached.

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

Scrapyard Worker

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

'Can I sniff the tires first?'

'I was THAT close to attaining enlightenment, and a stupid BIRD landed on my head!'

'Sorry, we don't do copper.'

'Dependable, basic transportation. Guaranteed to drive the ladies wild, especially low-maintenance ones.'

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

'He says the goat ate his blackjack.'