Scoreboard Sage Gifts

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"

'Is this the first time he's got 180?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Wall Street Couch

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

It can be taken up at any age....

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Pessimists v Optimists.

'Fenwick is here with a dire warning about the next bubble to burst.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

"You call this a statement?! I've got a statement for you!!"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'We need to do a better job at whatever it is that we do.'

'But he doesn't want to chase sticks - He likes to follow the stock market!'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.