Science Warrior Gifts

'I don't believe I've ever seen a scientific paper defended quite as vigorously as this one!'

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Overworked in the office

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

If I had sleeves, I'd roll them up...

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'