Science Teacher Gifts

When the predator becomes the prey.

"Crust" "Mantle" "Creamy nougat center"

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

'I will not mix chemicals unless I know what they are.'

'Perhaps one of you gentlemen would mind telling me just what it is outside the window that you find so attractive?'

DNA Testing

Dog forced to return bone

'Children, this is your new science teacher.'

'No, this is its nucleus, not its cell phone.'

Before and After Thomas Edison

The elements of surprise.

Student to student: 'Our chemistry lab finals went well. The firemen just left.'

"If every house had one of these, we could od away with all nuclear and fossil fuels!"

"Why do leaves change color?"

'Natural selection box'

Just before The Big Bang

Great events in Chemistry...

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Your chemistry grade isn't high enough for you to wear your hair that way.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Graduation Speech.

The World Before Isaac Newton Discovered Gravity

"Miss, today are we splitting the frog, or the atom?"

"It's not you-it's me."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

The Supreme Court overturns the law of gravity.

"And that, children, is how babies are made."

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

H2O

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Jeans Vs. Genes.