Science Teachers Gifts

The Dangers of Unlicensed Science Teachers.

Graduated Cylinders...

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

'I think we have picked a bad day for first contact.'

'I wish they'd named all the planets after Disney characters. They'd be a lot easier to remember.'

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Louis Armstrong

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

Computer Room.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"