Science Fair Specialist Gifts

'Inspectors found the latest bomb blast wasn't terrorism; it was a school science fair project gone wrong.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Small child building a large contraption from junk

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

PROBLEM AREAS

Science Fair. How viruses spread.

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Nuclear generation of energy.

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

Science Fair Judgements

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"Mine's bigger than yours."

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

After Darwin - "I won't spoil it and tell you the ending."

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

It's 9pm and now you tell me you need a human for a school science project tomorrow?

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

Science FAir. Vegetable Growth Rate. The winning entry studied how fast vegetables grow. "Clock the beet."

"Oh, now you tell me!"

'You won first prize at the 2010 national science fair?'

"C'mon, who am I trying to kid? 'The Wheel'...they'll never buy it."

The science fair is tomorrow, and I need to build a model of a nuclear power plant. Can you help me?