Science Fair Gifts

How To Monetize Other Kids' Science Projects

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

After Darwin - "I won't spoil it and tell you the ending."

"...and here are the winners: child of doctor, child of scientist, child of doctor..."

"Mine's bigger than yours."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Science FAir. Vegetable Growth Rate. The winning entry studied how fast vegetables grow. "Clock the beet."

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

Man at Medical Waste conference says - 'Hello?'

Science Fair: 'We need a new rule - all projects MUST be in a container!'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

Nuclear generation of energy.

"C'mon, who am I trying to kid? 'The Wheel'...they'll never buy it."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

Small child building a large contraption from junk

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'Mom, this is my new best friend -- I built him in computer class.'

PROBLEM AREAS

Science Fair. How viruses spread.

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Science Fair Judgements

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

It's 9pm and now you tell me you need a human for a school science project tomorrow?

"Oh, now you tell me!"