Sci-fi Screenwriter Gifts

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Herman Mankiewicz

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Stand-up Romcom

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Have you been playing dice?"

Hair Crop Circle

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four