Screenwriter Gifts

Goldilocks at Sundance.

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"So. . . who'd like to have a go at defining Britishness?"

I must find out how to control the rights when it comes out on parchment.'

'We are making a film of the book.'

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

"I just don't think a giant flaming blob of alien ectoplasm would say that."

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."

'I can't find the words to express my anger with you.' - 'She needs a dictionary.'

TV - Please stand buy. We've run out of ideas.

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Welcome to Hollywood

Cow Writers Block.

'Books that stayed books.'

Hollywood 1860 - "The Dickens screenplay's good but I'd like to bring in Thackery for a rewrite.."

'A page from Sylvester Stallone's newest film script.'

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

Little Red Riding Carpet

"It's time you learned the truth. You were adapted."

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

'Lucky we got Clam to circle the wagons.'

Hacked Dreams

"I know you probably hear this all the time, but I've got a great idea for a balloon animal."

Writer's Strike

The 2024 Deepfake awards

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Good news! I sold the movie rights to your accident for 50 Grand!"

Hollywood - the early years

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

Write a Screenplay