Sci-fi Author Gifts

Artificial Love

Obama's Theoretical Voting Record

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

Stanislav Lem

Cows of the Future!

"I told you not to make fun of primitive life-forms! Now these idiots are killing each other in your name!"

Militray general walking past a waving alien

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Occu-Pie Mars

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"We've made great progress!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Alien David statue

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Meet the author"

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.