School Transitioner Gifts

Mother Quiet Zone

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

The lesser of two evils.

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Don't you hate...

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

They were right. Life did get better after middle school.

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

'You are new here, aren't you?'

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

"Recently separated."

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

All Metamorphosed And No Place To Go.

'Why, yes. . . Bert did work as a mortgage broker before opening this place. . . How'd you guess?'

'Before computers, son, we were nerds who shuffled paper.'

Fresh out of school, new hire Justin Huffenberger is temporarily stunned and disoriented by the light at the end of the university tunnel.

'With Jesse Caldwell trasferring to another school, I've been promoted in the playground pecking order.'

'Why did you leave your last job?'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

'This goalie used to be a jockey.'

'Holly, listen to me. This school year is important. . . It's your last year before high school! You have to prepare! High school is a whole new ball game.'

"Don't worry, son. You're just at that awkward age."

"Yes very good, but have you consider a role in cyber?"