Child's School Transition Gifts

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

Don't you hate...

The lesser of two evils.

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

High School

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'Eat your carrots. They are good for growing children.'

"Try to fit in, Dear."

They were right. Life did get better after middle school.

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

"Why are they called freshers when they only eat processed food?"