Education Transition Gifts

Fresh out of school, new hire Justin Huffenberger is temporarily stunned and disoriented by the light at the end of the university tunnel.

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

The lesser of two evils.

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"It works as long as the teacher doesn't call on you."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

High School

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

They were right. Life did get better after middle school.

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

'You are new here, aren't you?'

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'Oh no, not you again,'

"Yeah, I used to look forward to Spring too sis, but now, Mum says I'm old enough to help with Spring cleaning..."

"Listen, Mom, I'm not your little girl anymore."

'I hope you realize Simkins that you have now had the best years of your life...'

"Being in education, I'm very athletic — I'm a political football, a punching bag, and a hurdle jumper."

'Holly, listen to me. This school year is important. . . It's your last year before high school! You have to prepare! High school is a whole new ball game.'

'The best advice for new teachers is to listen to students with your ears and your heart.'

Uncertain Future

The Pediatrician Turned Gynecologist

'I'm under a lot of peer pressure!'

'Look on the bright side, we haven't lost a son, we've gained a parking place!'

Ted hits puberty...

'Retirement.'