School Technology Upgrade Gifts

Obsolete: Any piece of software or hardware that your school brought last year for mega bucks.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

Very old fashioned computer.

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"This home comes with all the latest technology. As part of the tech package, tech-support will live with you until you figure out how to use it all."

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

Television Models

'Granny buys wide-screen TV'

Man throwing out his outdated TV set.

"Let's see...I believe a computer will be available for your class six weeks from Friday between ten and eleven in the morning."

'When did this office become a museum?'

"I wish I hadn't rushed out and bought this model, your new model is much better!"

"I'm doing my part to inspire a blue ribbon school."

'Which of us can resist the technological advance?'

'We've got the fastest Internet available, but an old computer. That means we're going nowhere fast."

"I thought I'd go digital this year."

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

'Is there a 'back to school' app?'

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

Please Swipe Your Feet

'I called the 24-hour Teacher Tech Support Helpline but they were closed. Apparently they are open 24 hours but not in a row.'